m00Cow

m00Cow, our resident bot in #lobby, grew up in the lush fields of Northern France, at m00Cow Farm, which was named after her grandmother, who was a successful basket weaver.

She doesn't like talking about her past, probably caused by a troubled childhood. m00Cow's bad youth can be traced to her younger brother, who underwent two sex changes at the age of 13, the second being unsuccessful.

This drove a wedge through her family, and caused her mother to run off with the milkman. As a result, m00Cow hasn't seen her mother since 1983, and has a phobia of milkmen.

At the age of 19, m00Cow ventured forward into university life. Earning a place at Derby University, m00Cow went and studied a joint honours degree in Excrement and Media Studies.

She excelled at her course, and after graduation, worked in a small bakers in Devon. It was from this Bakery, that m00Cow was invited to the International Duck Eating Conference, held in Chelmsford, where she met her future husband, m00Bull.

m00Bull was only visiting the conference because he had got lost looking for Gatwick airport, but it was love at first sight for the couple. They got married in 2001 in a small church in Greensted. They currently live together in a three bedroom semi-detached in the centre of London's Oxford Circus Street, as well as owning a small shed on the outskirts of Paris.

m00Cow's hobbies involve trying to predict the future by looking as patterns in her excrement (you'll need to ask her about this for yourself, as she refused to let this information be printed publically), as well as spreading facts to the younger population.

Throughout her youth, m00Cow learnt a great number of facts from her father and his special friend called Clive. In her wisdom, she enjoys telling these small tales to other people, and will often tell the residents of #lobby.

You can also ask m00Cow nicely to tell you a tale by typing !wow, although you have to be careful that she is in a good mood, otherwise she may tell you a soggy tale about excrement.